All right ladies, this is for you.
This is our list of the things you will never ever hear your husband say
starting with number 10:
- There's something different about you. I noticed it right away
Things you never ever hear your husband say, number nine:
- I'll have a white wine spritzer, too
Things you never hear your husband say, number eight:
- I never knew that looking at color swatches could be so interesting
Things you never ever hear your husband say, number seven:
- No, sometimes I'd just like to be held
Things you never ever hear your husband say, number six:
- tell our dinner guests about when you gave birth
Things you never ever hear your husband say, number five:
- Let's stay in tonight. 'Brokeback Mountain' is on
Things you never ever hear your husband say, number four:
- She's cute, but I find her bust is too big
Things you never ever hear your husband say, number three:
- I'm depressed. Let's go shopping
Things you never hear your husband say, number two:
- Talk to me
Finally our list of the things you'll never ever hear your husband say, this is number one:
- You drive. You're better at it.

Thank you very much and for all those of us who are and intend to continue to be married
here's a little song that we wrote, and it's dedicated to a couple who've been married for years and years. They have a couple of glasses of wine once in a while and she says to him:
"What do you say we go upstairs and fool around?"
And he says to her, "well, I can do one or the other. But not both."