You ask me if I love you and if my love is true
Well if I were a rich man here's what I would do
I'd buy you a diamond ring and a new fur coat or two
If my nose was running money
I'd blow it all on you

If my nose was running money
I'd blow it all on you
I'd buy you a Cadillac and a new Mercedes too
I'd build you a mansion upon that mountaintop
If my nose was running money
But honey
It's not

If my nose was running money
You'd have everything you please
Anytime you wanted cash all I'd have to do is sneeze
Honey, you'd win the lottery when I'd have a cold or flu
if my nose was running money
I'd blow it all on you

It's a booger of a problem that I've got
I wish my nose was running money
But it's not

I'd buy you a diamond ring
And a new fur coat or two
If my nose was running money
I'd blow it all on you

Words and Music by Mike Carr and Mike Hammonds (the Moron Brothers)