I'd like to tackle the issue of a prostate. I have one and it is becoming larger even as we speak.
It's a condition of being man of my age. Even as we sleep, our prostates become larger and larger.
We don't know why. There it is. But there is a name for it. It's called 'benign prostatic hyperplasia.'

Benign prostatic hyperplasia.
Men from America to Asia
Got benign prostatic hyperplasia.

Come on, let's just sing about it.

This is the masculine heel of Achilles.
The stopper that stops up the spout.
It's got something to do with the birds and the bees
That we're slightly embarrassed about.

Who knows why it starts to expand?
Who knows what is the trigger?
We middle-aged men simply don't understand
Why the prostate starts getting bigger
when we get
Benign prostatic hyperplasia.
Oh, benign prostatic hyperplasia.
Men from America to Asia
got benign prostatic hyperplasia.

A sing-along smash.

I think singing about something is the first step to healing, don't you?
I think it is.

You know a man of my age
Should be counting his wealth
And not constantly be inside tracked
By personal problems concerning the health
Of his urogenital tract.

A once steady stream is now starting and stopping
As the prostate tightens in noose
And all over the nation the old men are shopping
For diapers and cranberry juice
And they're singing
Benign prostatic hyperplasia.
Benign prostatic hyperplasia.
All the men from America to Asia
got benign prostatic hyperplasia.

The middle-aged golfer has problems as well
And he isn't glad that he's got them.
There's golf balls lying all over the course
And he feels like there's one up his bottom.

It's really ironic at my time of life
Says the middle-aged man with a frown
But in one way now I'm a lot like my wife
Because we both have to pee sitting down
Because I got
Benign prostatic hyperplasia.
I've got benign prostatic hyperplasia.
All the men from America to Asia
got benign prostatic hyperplasia.

You feel abused, you feel insulted
The whole thing is sleazy and shoddy
And you finally understand what the doctor means
When he says: "I'll examine the whole of your body."

The symptoms intensify day after day
The discomfort's acute and it's chronic
And it's shocking when you hear the doctor say:
"I think I can put my finger on it!"
You've got
Benign prostatic hyperplasia.
Benign prostatic hyperplasia.
All the men from America to Asia
got benign prostatic hyperplasia.

You know you got a problem when the doctor give you a digital rectal examination
and he says: "ouch!"
.. You got
Benign prostatic hyperplasia.
You got benign prostatic hyperplasia.
All the men from America to Asia
Got benign prostatic hyperplasia.