When Canadians seek culture of which they can partake
Do they flock to Stratford or Niagara on the lake?
Well, that's okay, I guess, for the privileged few
But as for average Canadians, I'll tell you what they do
Tuesday night is wing night, it's hard to get a seat
For that part of the chicken that no one used to eat
Wednesday night is ladies night, the girls drink free till 10
They keep the guys penned up behind a rope till then
Thursdays Karaoke night, it's high technology
You'll hear drunken customers sing my way way off key
Friday is lamba the night which I do endorse
Some call it dance, I call it sexual intercourse
Saturday is wet t-shirt night, bodies young and pert
If you win first prize you get a dry t-shirt
Sunday night is bungee night, a bouncer's nightmare
Because on bungee night, there's bouncers everywhere
Monday is a special night, it's the night they call
Dwarf tossin' giant screen, tractor pullin', mud wrestling
Chippendale yuck yucks, Velcro diving, two for one
Bumdarts night!