A cat walks down the street and says
Why do I lick myself all day?
Why do I lick myself all day?
Is it just because I can or because
I've got some Vaseline on my paws?
I hate to get a fur ball. I hate to get a fur ball
When I already have two furry balls.

I don't want to chase mice anymore.
Mice taste terrible
And they always make me fart.
And there's nothing worse than mouse farts
Except fish breath, fish breath
Why do I always seem to get
Fish breath? Fish breath
Why don't they make Clorettes for cats?
And I don't find Garfield amusing anymore.

I can be your pussy cat.
You can feed me pussy cat chow.
You can call me kitty.
And when you call me kitty I will go: "meow."

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

A cat walks along a wall and says
How come I'm so damn smart?
How come I'm so damn smart?
How come dogs are so dumb?
I don't chase the mailman.
I don't poop all over the sidewalk.
I use kitty litter.
Oh, here comes a dog right now.
Hey, bum-sniffer, bum-sniffer
Why don't you go fetch me a stick?
Hey leg-humper, leg-humper
All you leg humpers make me sick

I can be your pussy cat
You can feed me pussy cat Chow
You can call me kitty
And when you call me kitty I will go: "Meow!"
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

And if I really like you
If I really really like you
Then I will jump up into your lap
And turn around and stick my tail straight up in the air
And if you look real closely you'll see that I'm smiling