The great Canadian adventure
Is out in the open air
Trekking across the tundra
With a coureur de bois named Pierre

It's the Canada we sell to the tourists
Sometimes we fall for it too
Suckered by pictures of glaciers
And Trudeau in his fucking canoe

Welcome to darkest Canada
Welcome to darkest Canada
A continent of mystery
Barely touched by history
Feel the terror and the fear as you disappear
In darkest Canada

The wildest animals we ever met in Canada were Canadians. I think it's symbolic
that our national coin is the Loony. We played in a hotel in darkest Canada
where they had a pretty strange attitude, for a hotel. The desk clerk said:
"we don't like strangers around here. Where are you'se all from, anyways.
Montreal? Ooh - that's in Quebec. You speak English right good.
You know, we figure, the only thing wrong with French immersion is - they don't hold them under
long enough."
I knew right then it was gonna be a challenge