Canadian Culture

At the Comedy Nest
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Canadian Culture
Does everybody share
Canadian culture?
Does anybody care
Canadian culture?

You can spot the Canadian
It's easy as pie.
A Canadian won't say 'soldier,'
He'll say 'army guy.'
Canada is like vichyssoise
Have you heard this slur?
Because it's cold and half French
And it's difficult to stir.

You see it every day
Canadian culture.
Go shopping at the bay
Canadian culture.

We've been searching everywhere
Searching here, searching there
Searching for Canadian culture.
Is it in a Beaver Tail?
Is it a Beluga whale?
Is it in an Eskimo sculpture?
Is it in a Lightfoot tune, in the cry of a loon
A can of maple syrup on the table?
Is it in the Bay of Fundy?
Is it shopping on a Sunday?
Is it Anne of fucking Green Gables?

Some Canadian culture
Happened in the 1880s
When Sir John A. McDonald said,
Ahoy there, Metis!

Louis Riel, oh, you're gonna die.

Will Canada survive?
Some folks are quite leery
I mean, it works in practice
But it just doesn't work in theory.

Looking all around
Canadian culture
Something going down.
It's Canadian culture.
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