Merci, je vous remercie du fond de mon coeur. I thank you from the heart of my bottom.
- So you are a bilingual, cultured guy. You speak French, of course.
Of course. I'm not the kind of guy who thinks a coupe de grace is a lawnmower.
- No, of course not.
I'm not the kind of guy who thinks 'au contraire' is a deodorant.
- You speak French
I'm not the kind of guy who thinks Chateauguay means 'bath house for men."
- No, indeed.
I'm certainly not the kind of guy who thinks 'Complexe Desjardins' means 'fear of gardens.'
- Oh, you speak French.
Oh, yes. Not the kind of guy who thinks Bon Appétit means small penis. By golly, I speak French.
- It's absolutely French.
Not the kind of guy who thinks 'Duane' is the name of the man who works at Canada Customs.
- So you're not the kind of guy who thinks Coquille St-Jacques is the new Premier of Quebec?
I'm not the kind of guy who thinks 'cul-de-sac' means vasectomy.
- So you're not the kind of guy who thinks Cote des Neiges is a snowsuit?
No. And I'm not the kind of guy who thinks 'aperitif' means a set of dentures.
- So then, of course, you are not the kind of guy who thinks Dr. Pepper is Camille Laurin?
Indeed. But you know, in spite of all this, I still have trouble with the license plate. "Je me souviens."
I asked a guy, I said: "what does that mean?" He said: "I can't remember."
- I mean, a lot of people in Ontario think it means "I can't drive." Americans think it means "I bought a souvenir."
Well, I'll tell you what I remember. I remember when Eton's had an apostrophe S. You remember that?
- Oh, yes. Yes, Eton, yes, apostrophe S. Of course, something happened then.
Yes, it was taken away by the Apostrophe SS. A small but fanatical group that believes we'd all be better off without commas.
Except for the women in the group who believe we'd all be better off without periods.
- I find it ironic that the patron saint of Quebec is John the Baptist, who of course is Jewish, as we all know.