Christmas In The Middle East
The songs we sing at Christmas have a western emphasis,
but to be more authentic, they should really sound like this.
Christmas in the Middle East, Christmas in the Middle East.
Don't forget to give your tour guide some back sheets.
Welcome, this is where you're liable to see things from the Bible.
So don't be a stranger, come and see the major.
From Elia to Galilee, this is a theme park forgotten.
Welcome, have a nice falafel, and after you'll feel awful.
Running for the toilet, but our virgin of the toilet is just a hole in the ground.
That's why we call this the Holy Land.
There's no snow or rain here, it doesn't even rain here.
No Santa Claus in red, there's just a fat guy named Achmed.
Welcome, you'll come home be dragled, cause you can't Christmas shop here.
You'll have to Christmas haggle, and in your souvenir picture,
you won't be on Santa's knee, you'll be floating in the Dead Sea.
Welcome, meet my cousin Samuel, he'll rent you a Camuel.
Just look at you now boy, you're like a Jewish cowboy.
You'll have to learn to say, not just Yippee, but Yippee-oy-boy.
Christmas cards show the chef roots as they are all watching their flocks by Starlight.
But in Israel now there are soldiers watching their cheques moist by night in the Middle East.
We had war and peace, we even had war and Christopher.
Come to the Gaza Strip, it's worth the trip.
You can dance with the Gaza Strip, Christmas in the Middle East.