Toronto, come to Toronto
I can hardly wait
To talk about real estate
Toronto, come to Toronto
Just bend over and someone will drive you home

I went into a restaurant, I ordered 'Tongue à la Française'
And the waiter came and stuck it in my ear
I turned to my companion and I said: "If I were you
I wouldn't order the Greek sausage here."

Toronto, come to Toronto
We can have a ball
Oops! Too late - last call
Toronto, come to Toronto
Just bend over and someone will drive you home

We played in Toronto, and much to my surprise
It was exciting, it was grand
I asked: "Is there anybody here from Montreal?"
And everybody there put up their hand

Toronto, come to Toronto
Are we having fun yet?
Put out that cigarette!
Toronto, come to Toronto
Just bend over and someone will drive you home.