We love anaesthetists
We need them, there's no doubt
They pass the gas and we pass out

We love anaesthetists and painless surgery
Without them doctors would still say
This hurts you more than me

In the bad old prehistoric days
When doctor and patient were nude,
The cave anaesthetist's bedside manner
Was considered crude

And then they tried alcohol
To help dull the sensation
And it worked so very well that they
Gave some to the patients.

But here in Canada we found the best solution
We put patients right to sleep
by saying the word "Constitution."

We love anaesthetists
We need them, there's no doubt
They pass the gas and we pass out

We love anaesthetists
And painless surgery
Without them doctors would still say ...

You know, seeing a doctor can add gears to your life.
- Really?
Yes, and that's just the waiting room.
Without them doctors would still say ...
My doctor said to me, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.
I said, look, I can't do this any other way, you know.
Without them doctors would still say ...
You know, a doctor in my neighborhood was fired for harassing a patient
- That's terrible.
Yes, he was one of the best vets we ever had. And the patient said he was not baaaad.
Without them doctors would still say ...
I went out with an anaesthetist once.
- Really?
Yes. All night long, she kept saying:
"Place this over your mouth and nose, and continue to breathe normally."
Without them doctors would still say ...,
This hurts you more than me.