Lyrics
Only One Schwartz's
Only One Schwartz's
Amber
This is the world's best smoked meat
Ben
Yes!
Amber
And no one here denies it
Ben
You're right!
Amber
It really makes you wonder why you don't franchise it.
Elsie
Wash your mouth out with Black Cherry.
Mac
Don't mess with Schwartz's. You'll unravel the cosmic fabric of the universe.
Ben, Guy, Al
Buckingham Palace is one of a kind
One Statue of Liberty's a beacon to mankind
China has but one Great Wall
There's only one Schwartz's
And it's here in Montreal
Amber
But don't you think the rest of the world should be allowed to share your good fortune?
With Brad
From Hamilton to Halifax, from Windsor to Iqaluit!
From Flin Flon to Antigonish
Jade
Are those real places?
A & B
Everyone would value it
And even in Jerusalem
Of course we'd have to find a spot
In Cairo, and in India
Jade
India? Holy Cow!
A & B
OK. Well maybe not.
Mac
My brother in San Francisco says that people would line up from Fisherman's Wharf all the way to UnionSquare for the true taste of smoked meat on rye!
Ben
You're not listening!
Ben, Guy, Al
The Eiffel Tower is truly unique
And One Taj Mahal gives India its mystique
Alberta has one West Edmonton Mall
Mac
Thank God!
Ben, Guy, Al
There's only One Schwartz's
And it's here in Montreal
A & B
If you want to be successful
Give the people what they want, so
Here's a very neat idea -
Jade
Uh-huh?
A & B
Schwartz's in Toronto!
Ben
But Toronto has no idea what food is about.
Amber
Oh, come on!
Ben
Those prissy restaurants with tiny portions; I could get more nourishment biting my lip.
Mac
But half a million ex-Montrealers would line up at your door when you open. It would give them a reason to live again.
Amber
And that would just be the start.
A & B
Schwartz's around the world (Alleluia)
Schwartz's a flag unfurled (Alleluia)
A noble mission, a job that must be done
Someone should do it - we'll be the one
Ben
You just don't get it, do you? You want to turn our kitchen into kitsch.
Ben, Guy, Al
Only one Sphinx emerges from the sand
There's only one Rolling Stones band
There's only one Carnegie Hall
There's only one ...
A & B
Schwartz's around the world
Ben, Guy, Al
There's only one ...
A & B
Schwartz's around the world
Ben, Guy, Al
There's only one Schwartz's
And it's here, in Montreal!
Amber
This is the world's best smoked meat
Ben
Yes!
Amber
And no one here denies it
Ben
You're right!
Amber
It really makes you wonder why you don't franchise it.
Elsie
Wash your mouth out with Black Cherry.
Mac
Don't mess with Schwartz's. You'll unravel the cosmic fabric of the universe.
Ben, Guy, Al
Buckingham Palace is one of a kind
One Statue of Liberty's a beacon to mankind
China has but one Great Wall
There's only one Schwartz's
And it's here in Montreal
Amber
But don't you think the rest of the world should be allowed to share your good fortune?
With Brad
From Hamilton to Halifax, from Windsor to Iqaluit!
From Flin Flon to Antigonish
Jade
Are those real places?
A & B
Everyone would value it
And even in Jerusalem
Of course we'd have to find a spot
In Cairo, and in India
Jade
India? Holy Cow!
A & B
OK. Well maybe not.
Mac
My brother in San Francisco says that people would line up from Fisherman's Wharf all the way to UnionSquare for the true taste of smoked meat on rye!
Ben
You're not listening!
Ben, Guy, Al
The Eiffel Tower is truly unique
And One Taj Mahal gives India its mystique
Alberta has one West Edmonton Mall
Mac
Thank God!
Ben, Guy, Al
There's only One Schwartz's
And it's here in Montreal
A & B
If you want to be successful
Give the people what they want, so
Here's a very neat idea -
Jade
Uh-huh?
A & B
Schwartz's in Toronto!
Ben
But Toronto has no idea what food is about.
Amber
Oh, come on!
Ben
Those prissy restaurants with tiny portions; I could get more nourishment biting my lip.
Mac
But half a million ex-Montrealers would line up at your door when you open. It would give them a reason to live again.
Amber
And that would just be the start.
A & B
Schwartz's around the world (Alleluia)
Schwartz's a flag unfurled (Alleluia)
A noble mission, a job that must be done
Someone should do it - we'll be the one
Ben
You just don't get it, do you? You want to turn our kitchen into kitsch.
Ben, Guy, Al
Only one Sphinx emerges from the sand
There's only one Rolling Stones band
There's only one Carnegie Hall
There's only one ...
A & B
Schwartz's around the world
Ben, Guy, Al
There's only one ...
A & B
Schwartz's around the world
Ben, Guy, Al
There's only one Schwartz's
And it's here, in Montreal!