Cheap, Cheap, Cheap

A man of rare gifts, now that would be me
I'm cheap cheap cheap
There's a picture of me in the dictionary
Under "cheap, cheap, cheap"
When I meet in the street with a charity case
It certainly wipes the smile from my face
There's nothing quite like it to quicken the pace
When you’re cheap, cheap, cheap

I've got a degree in nursing (my drink)
I'm cheap, cheap, cheap
I'm so tight my kneecaps move when I blink
I'm cheap, cheap, cheap
People say that I'm quite unique
They comment upon my unusual physique
I'm so tight, when I walk they can all hear me squeak
I'm cheap, cheap, cheap

I'm as tight, as tight as the arse of a flea
When I die, I'm leaving my money ... to me
At restaurants I get a pain in the neck
From trying to sit with my back to the check
The birds in the sky see me go by and go
Cheap, cheap, cheap.

One of my personal favorite tricks
I'm cheap, cheap, cheap
Is visiting friends at a quarter to six
I’m cheap, cheap, cheap
There's nothing that is more amusing to me
Than seeing two steaks cut up into three
That's the way a steak dinner should be
When you’re cheap, cheap, cheap