Reuben

There was a man
Who came from Eastern Europe
He had a dream, but more important than that
He had some spices

Oh - Reuben
They called him Reuben
Oh - Reuben Schwartz
Reuben Schwartz

Very, very little is known about this man
In fact, according to income tax records
He didn't even exist

Oh - Reuben
They called him Reuben
Oh - Reuben Schwartz
Because that was his name

Not to be confused with 'the great Schwartz',
A ludicrous cabaret performer whose specialty was smashing walnuts with his pecker.
Later, it was coconuts
He said his eyesight was poor.

But what we can say for sure is this:
I am the man who brought smoked meat to the new world
So for all Montrealers
I am the Deli Lama

If these walls could talk
words and music by Rick Blue and George Bowser