I'd like to bring out some friends now to help me sing this song.

When I was just a baby, I recall
I had no hair upon my head at all
My granddad saw me crying
And he sat me on his knee
And he said, "I'm as bald as you are, Ricky
But one day you will see that
Bald is beautiful, bald is beautiful
Bald is beautiful. Bald is beautiful."

That's right, brothers and sisters, I've learned
Baldness is not an absence of hair, it's a presence - of head.
When the sun is glinting on this dome
You are a beacon sending out universal love to all creation.
Because you are free, free from the bondage of the barber shop
Free from the slavery of the salon.
You have brushed off the brush, you have no use for mousse
And you are through with shampoo
Let's sing a chorus together, guys

Bald is beautiful, bald is beautiful
Ah yes, that's nice. You guys sing it like you mean it!
As you know, it seems such a shame as we go through our lives
Some guys go gray and other guys go pink.
You know something's happening in your life
When you go to the barber, he spends five minutes on your head
Fifteen minutes on your nose and ears.
You know something's happening in your life
When you go to a fine restaurant, the waiter comes over and says
Excuse me, sir, but aren't you sitting upside down?
You know something's happening in your life
When you let your hair down one night and it just never comes back.
You know we have to look on the bright side, don't we?
Don't think of it as a bald head
Think of it as a solar panel for a love machine
Think of it as a business opportunity ... your message here!
And you know, I've heard that guys who go bald in the front of their head
Well, they are thinkers,
Guys who go bald in the back of their head
Well, they're lovers.
So I guess you (guys who go bald in the back and the front) ... think you're a lover
I'm glad you're a friend, yes
You know, the good news is science has a cure for baldness
Yes, it's a hair stimulant, it's called Propecia.
Of course, I worry -
What if you're taking Propecia and Viagra at the same time?
Do you end up with hair like Don King?
We'll never know, will we?
(sings)
When people look down their noses
They say, who parted your hair? Moses?
Don't be ashamed of that bald spot
Be proud of every hair that you haven't got

Because after all, baldness is a great, great honor
To be amongst Kojak and Sinead O'Connor
We always knew we were the cream of the crop
Now we've proved it - we've come out on top
Sing for us
Bald is beautiful
Bald is beautiful
Bald is beautiful
Bald is beautiful
Everybody, come on, sing along now, let's hear it
Bald is beautiful
Bald is beautiful
Can you feel the love in the room?
Bald is beautiful
Bald is beautiful
One more time, one more time, let's hear it
Bald is beautiful
Bald is beautiful
Bald is beautiful
Bald is beautiful
Bald is beautiful