I don't care about being tubby
Look at Buddha - he was chubby
The earth is round, not flat
Being fat is where it's at!

I don't care if I get thinner.
I want breakfast lunch and dinner.
Don't give me that lo-cal diet crap
I want twice the sugar and all the fat

If you want your life to be complete
The answer is - eat, eat, eat!
Beer! Ice cream! Cheese cake! Gravy
Beer! Ice cream! Cheese cake! Gravy

Say yes to cake! Yes, to beer!
Give me some of that pudding here.
I want all the sugar I can eat.
I don't care if I never see my feet

Don't give me no diet drink.
I wanna make that rowing machine sink
Yes, to smoked meat! Yes, to steak!
Give me another slice of that cheese cake.

If you want your life to be complete,
The answer is - eat, eat, eat!
Pizza! Burgers! Nachos! Wings!
Pizza! Burgers! Nachos! Wings!

If people tell you you should diet
Don't be a chump - don't buy it!
Thin folks just don't realize
The joy of great big wobbly thighs

Wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble
Wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble
Yeah!

When it rains, I'm all set -
Nothing below my waist gets wet
Don't talk to me about weight loss
Give me some more of that chocolate sauce

If you don't look good in the nude.
Simple! Keep your clothes on, dude!
The earth is round, not flat -
Being fat is where it's at

If you want your life to be complete,
The answer is - eat, eat, eat!

Beer! Ice Cream! Cheese Cake! Gravy!
Pizza! Burgers! Nachos! Wings!
French fries! Mayo! Cookies! Celery!
Celery?
Celery - I mean, with melted cheese and gravy ...
Get outa here with your celery!