Golf! Slip the starter of fin.
Golf! So that we can begin.
Golf! Hey, let's play golf.

Golf is wonderful, who could scoff
At getting up at the crack of dawn
On my day off?
And later on when evening falls,
I admire the sunset
As I wash my balls.

Yes, my short game
Works well for me.
The only problem is - it's off the tee.
By the time I reach the 18th green,
I've been in places
The Indians haven't seen.

Golf! I'm yelling "fore!"
Golf! But eight is my score.
Golf! Hey, let's play golf.

When it comes to golf
I never scrimp.
When else can a middle-aged man dress like a pimp?
And golf must be the only sport where
I can spend the whole day with hookers.
And my wife doesn't care.

The other day I played
With my friend Fred.
And on the seventh hole, Fred dropped dead.
The memory of that still makes me sad.
It was the worst day I ever had.
Hit the ball, drag Fred.
Hit the ball, drag Fred.
Golf! Hey, let's play golf.

Golf! But I'm not complaining.
Golf! Even if it's raining.
Golf! Hey, let's play golf.
Fore!