We praise the colorectal surgeon Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness Working where the sun don't shine
Respect the colorectal surgeon It's a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us Let's all do the finger wave
When it comes to spreading joy There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world And others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows He'll get you in the end
Why be a colorectal surgeon It's one of those mysterious things
Is it because in that profession There are always opening
When I first met a colorectal surgeon He did not quite understand
I said, hey, it's nice to meet you But do you mind if we don't shake hands
He sailed right through medical school Because he was a whiz
Oh, but he never thought of psychology Though he read passages
A doctor he wanted to be For golf he loved to play
But this is not quite what he meant By 18 holes a day
Praise the colorectal surgeon Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness Working where the sun don't shine