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The Night They Invented Poutine

The Illustrated Canadian Songbook
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Lyrics
The Night They Invented Poutine
The night they invented Houdini, it was the most peculiar scene.
Jeanette Renault was shy and thin, the Nordics began to win Jack Parazzoz and God Save the Queen.
The night they invented Houdini, the night they invented Houdini.
No one knows the precise origin, where or when this food did begin, everybody in Quebec will tell you with a grin,
it was their little village that invented Houdini.
To be really authentic, the potatoes must be old, the gravy must be hot, and the cheese must be cold,
with a churn and a morni-ow, wherever it is sold, serve with a roll in a bowl by a troll.
You put some potatoes and some cheese in a tin, but the cheese won't melt till you put the gravy in,
and it sticks to your fork and it dribbles down your chin, and that's how you know that you're eating a Houdini.
If the French fries are greasy and the gravy's nice and hot, the cheese curds melt as they come out of the pot.
Once in your stomach they congeal into a knot, if your food does that, patina's what they got.
Some use mozzarella, but that isn't really it, and they serve it at McDonald's, but the French fries are shit,
and we hate to be picky, but we have to admit, it's hard to eat when the cook has a zit.
Well, there's no way anyone would call it Houdini. It isn't really junk food, it's something in between,
but it's better than a burger or a Mike's submarine. A balanced diet is a beard of tin. Hey!
Thank you.
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