I've always been a hockey fan, collected tons of things
Original Six sweaters and Stanley Cup rings
I've got some real prize items, and some that make me laugh
I’ve got Guy Lafleur’s helmet (that's impossible)
I've got Eddie Shack's autograph (that's impossible too)
But now all I want is the ultimate souvenir
The stick that McSorley used, to clobber Don Brashear

I want that stick, I really want that stick
If I could get a hold of it now that would be a trick
Maybe it sounds weird to you, maybe it's just sick
But I really really really want that stick

I spoke to the Canucks and I spoken to all the Bruins
It's no use to McSorley now - his career's in ruins
I had a word with the linesmen, and a talk with the ref
I would have spoken to Brashear, but he was totally deaf
Some bugger took off with it - that's absolutely clear
The stick that McSorley used, to clobber Don Brashear

I want that stick, I really want that stick
He's probably holding onto it himself, the rotten prick
It would loook so nice next to (Evander) Holyfield's ear
I want the stick that McSorley used to clobber Don Brashear

Some want the impossible, and I say lots of luck
Like a Gordie Howe elbow pad, or that Henderson puck
But it's amazing what people give you if you just say ‘please’
A friend of mine claims to have one of Bobby Orr’s knees
Some want almost anything that's signed by number '99'
I’m looking for that one stick that Gretzky didn't sign

I want that stick, I really want that stick
It's worth a bloody fortune - I've done the arithmetic
But I can't seem to locate it and it gets right on my wick
I really really really want that stick

There's a rumor going round and I don't know if it's true
They say that Don Brashear’s keeping an eye out for it too
(he should have worn a visor)
If he finds it he'll treasure it - because he's got a lot of class
Till he meets Marty McSorley, & he can tell him to shove it under glass
(I know what you were thinking, but that would decrease its value to another collector!)

I want that stick, I really want that stick
I’ve spent hours on the internet – going point and bloody click
Maybe it sounds weird to you and maybe it’s sick
I really, really, really want that stick