Baby, there'll be no babies with me
I'm talking about my vasectomy
It ain't much to you, but baby you see
Uh-huh it's a vasectomy

Throw away those pills, they're needless
I'm talking about my vasectomy
My grapes are seedless
I'm talking about my vasectomy

I can understand now, your feelings are mixed
When I'm talking about my vasectomy
But I hate it when you say: "It's okay, he's been fixed."
I'm talking about my vasectomy

You're gonna find it's unbelievable
I'm talking about my vasectomy
When we make love it's inconceivable
I'm talking about my vasectomy

I can see the guys go white as sheets
And tightly squeeze their knees
They seem to think 'vasectomy'
Is Greek for "you won't be needing these"
You won't be needing
You won't be needing
You won't be needing these

Baby, baby there'll be no babies with me
Because I'm talking about my vasectomy
Now we can make love recreationally
I'm talking about my vasectomy

You know I would never try to impress you with a big red shiny car
I'm talking about my vasectomy
But I would love to show you my little red tiny scar
I'm talking about my vasectomy

I feel like a Christmas tree since my operation
I'm talking about my vasectomy
Because on a Christmas tree the balls are just for decoration
I'm talking about my vasectomy