Tough Crowd #2

20th Anniversary
Preview: 0:00 / 0:00 | Original: 8:50
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Tough Crowd #2
Well, you know, you gotta be tough to live in Quebec these days.
In fact, you gotta be tough to live anywhere in Canada, don't you?
That's right. You do, guys. But we can do it because we are tough.
We Canadians are tough. We're gonna get through this.
We're gonna get through this because

We're a tough crowd, we're Canadians.
Our snowboarders excel.
They are sponsored by Roots
and Twigs and Seeds as well.
We got world-class comedians
who get paid enormous fees.
I don't mean Jim Carrey.
I mean our MPs.

Alright, now what?

This is the Sharon Lois and Bram part of the song. So I want everybody to sing along now, okay?

We're tough, we're tough.
We're very, very tough.
We're tough, we're tough.
We're very, very tough.

Oh, yes, you gotta be tough, all across this great country of ours,
starting in the heartland of Canada, in Ontario.
Ontari - ari - ari - o. A place to stand, a place to grow. Ontari - ari -ari o.
Oh, you know that too. Yours to uncover. Ontario.

It's true, although things aren't easy here. It's true.
With all the cutbacks they've had. I hear there's cutbacks in health care now.
They're saying there's cutbacks and there's going to be user fees.
And they call them user fees - because youse are going to pay for it.
It's a form of Mike Harris-ment that's going on here in Ontario
And they're having troubles in...
Whoa, thank you.
And cutting back in education
That's got to the point now, where in Ontario, they're going to have to have driver's ed. and sex ed. in the same car.
Imagine, it's a terrible thing.
And it's all because of what's going on in Ottawa.
Where they're having cutbacks because of balancing the budget.
They're saying, up there in the nation's capital.
I don't know why they call it that. It has no capital.
The nation has no capital. We're in debt.
That's right, we're in debt. It's a financial crisis.
The Ottawa River only runs three days a week, man.
It's a terrible thing.
When the Queen comes to visit, she only gets a 19 gun salute.
There's cutbacks everywhere.
And it's, Paul Martin is doing his best. Paul Martin says, my initials are PM,
So what, so are Preston Manning's.
We know that, but there's cutbacks
And he's trying to, he says he's eliminated the deficit.
He's the sort of general accountant of Canada. And I know about accountants.
There's only three kinds of accountant - those who can add and those who can't.
Three kinds.
And Paul Martin, he says, I've eliminated the deficit.
I don't believe a word of it. I think it's just one of them accounting tricks.
He's probably put it in his wife's name.
That's what you do when you're an accountant. You fiddle out ways to do it.
And that's what they're doing there.
And they're passing the problems right down to Toronto,
Your neighbor, Toronto, the financial heart of this nation.
Toronto, where a mixed marriage is a man and a woman.
Toronto, where a Maple Leaf game is like a Billy Graham rally.
Every two minutes, the crowd goes, 'Jesus Christ!'
Toronto, Toronto, Toronto.
You know what I mean, Toronto.
Toronto, it comes from an Indian word that means "Where the river narrows."
Or I guess now they would have said "where the banks merge."
It's the same thing.
You see, the Indians, they knew what was going on, way back then.
The Abenaki and of course the Quebec Indians.
The Tabenaki who are terrifying to the Quebec provincial police.
They're terrified of the Indians in Quebec.
And that's why they won't allow Viagra on the reservations
because they're afraid there'll be an uprising.
And who knows, it could happen.
Of course it wouldn't happen to my partner Ricky there.
He was recently arrested for assault with a dead weapon.
I shouldn't make fun.
I'm in a same sex marriage myself.
When we have sex, it's always the same.
I don't, same sex, you see.
And I said, come on, let's do something different.
Let's do something different.
She says, I know what you want. You guys are all the same.
Not going to happen. It's absolutely no fun.
If it was, they'd call it a blow 'holiday,' wouldn't they?
I mean, just, just, that's the way, you've got to be tough.
I hear women applauding.
You've got to be tough in this country
all the way across this great country
Out in Saskatchewan.
You know how it is in Saskatchewan.
Very often neglected.
Saskatchewan - where being flat is where it's at.
Saskatchewan where there are a lot of small communities,
small communities. In fact, they're so small, some of them
That if there's a two car accident, you're in it.
And where, where they suffer from ethical dilemmas
Such as: if two people from Swift Current get divorced - are they still cousins?
This is the question they're asking.
They're asking themselves this question
While they come up with technological innovations such as turning sewage into snow.
An amazing step forward for the tourist industry
Designed to bring skiers to Saskatchewan - downhill skiers.
Mounds of sewage turned into snow.
And you can't tell the difference.
They put up a sign that says, "if you've got the skis, we've got the runs."
Come to Saskatchewan. People are flocking out there
And then they keep on going to, to further out west to, to Alberta.
Alberta where, where the Preston Manning
and the Deform Party are. Where it's their heartland
And they recently formed a hockey team which is not doing well.
They're just going round in circles.
Well, why wouldn't they? Every single one of them is a right winger.
So they're all going round.
In Toronto they're deep in their own end.
But if you go out to, to British Columbia, B.C. where they, they have smoked salmon
In B.C.
Well, they'll smoke anything in B.C.
And why not?
Why not?
In B.C. the home of Ross Rebigliatti
the most successful, most Canadian, most notable Canadian Olympic gold medalist
since, since Ben Johnson.
And, and if you're not sure which is which
I was stuck there for a minute.
Just remember Ben Johnson
was a Jamaican with a little Canadian in him.
Whereas Ross is a Canadian with a little Jamaican in him.
But let's just,
what about our, our home province of Quebec?
Le Québec du Québec.
Québec where we, you know, we had high hopes
when Jean Charest came, we thought that things would change.
And they actually said that the tide has turned.
They said the tide has turned in Quebec.
We believed it because in Quebec
the political BS is so deep it actually has a tide.
It's, it's remarkable.
And sometimes it really makes no difference which way you're going.
You're still up to here in it.
It's, it's a terrible thing.
And what we really have to worry about in Quebec is taxes, taxes.
Honestly, you go to buy a pitcher of beer in a tavern
it says five dollars and the waiter wants eight bucks.
It says five dollars on the wall.
He says, I know: it's five dollar for the beer, one dollar for GST, one dollar for PST
and one dollar for me 'stie.
That's why it costs eight bucks a beer in Quebec.
And of course in the Maritimes it's not easy for them
Out there where they've had, the terrible weather they've had there
As a result of a strange weather system known as El Newfo
which has completely disrupted everything.
The only, the only fishery left now is the unemployment beneficiary.
Newfoundland. It's a terrible thing
and they're worried about health care too - as we all are, as the population ages
and we look to the future and we're all getting older.
I mean - I get out of breath just jogging my memory these days.
It's a terrible thing, getting older
And we're looking at a health care system that's really a bit like a hospital gown, ma'am.
You only think you're covered.
You've got to be tough.

We're tough, we're tough, we're very, very tough.
We're tough, we're tough, we're very, very tough.

Merci du fond de mon coeur.
Thank you from the heart of my bottom.

20th Anniversary

Bowser & Blue

18 songs | 59:34 Released 1999

A great CD for the car, this includes a song about a highway, 'The Talking 401 Blues,' and a song for underachieving golfers. Many other big hits from the live show including the popular Youtube song 'It Ain't Easy, Being White'.

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