Any members of the NDP who might be here tonight, all of George's furs were synthetic.
I'd like to do a talking blues song now.
This genre came about when people noticed that there were these bars where there was
somebody in the corner playing the blues and everybody else was talking.
This is called the Talking 401 Blues.

Cars zoom by at a frightening rate
With "je me souviens" on the license plate.
Quebecers wear those plates with pride.
Ontarians think that means "I can't drive."
Yeah, the fun has just begun
On the mighty 401.

An 18-wheeler with a heavy load
Just about blew me off the road.
Now I don't begrudge this guy his freedom
But where's Thelma and Louise when you really need them?
I guess hemorrhoids can't be much fun
Bouncing down the 401.

Well, there's a lot of roadkill here today.
People shouldn't let their animals stray.
I heard a thump. What was that?
Oh, I think it used to be Fluffy the Cat.
I guess she walked when she should have run
Across the mighty 401.

Yeah, there's a service stop every 50 miles
Where the food is bland and no one smiles.
You'll see the signs as you pass.
They say: "eat here, and get gas."
Yeah, choose a wine that goes with tums
When you dine on the 401.

We're driving in the dark now, if you please
And my buddy says: "did you cut the cheese?"
I say: "no, this is normal.
We're just passing Cornwall."
Yeah, Cornwall, where indirect lighting means the sun.
I'm glad I'm on the 401.