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Lyrics
When a Man Turns Fifty
A lot of people are turning 50 these days.
Yes, the baby boomers are celebrating their 50th birthday.
It's a very important time. It's a very significant time. It's a landmark. It's a milestone.
It's a time when your kids are moving out, and Mom's thinking of moving back in.
It's a time when you don't hear, did the earth move? But you might hear, did your bowels move?
It's a time when you find it's not so much fun hanging around young people because it makes you feel old.
So you start hanging around old people because that makes you feel young.
Yes, it's a time when you realize that 40 is the old age of youth, but 50 is the youth of old age.
It's a time when you walk past a mirror and say - Hi, Dad.
It's a time when you realize why they call it middle age
because everything seems to accumulate around your middle.
It's a time when you might finally have the body of a 20-year-old ... Chevy.
Yes, if you were an automobile, your warranty would have just about expired by now.
In fact, you'd be thinking of trading yourself in.
When a man turns 50, he can get the blues
Just from bending down to tie his shoes down.
He's a- thinking, oh dear, oh dear,
Is there anything else that I should do while I'm down here?
People must be mumbling, he can't hear a word,
His eyesight is perfect so his friends must be blurred.
He still plays hockey, and he still plays to win,
But contact hockey means - you keep your lenses in.
Middle age is what they call it.
He's no longer indestructible.
The bulge in his pants is his wallet,
And everything he does is deductible.
... I'll be alright now.
When a man turns 50, he still goes with the flow,
but it's hard to go with the flow when the flow won't go.
He still chases women, but he doesn't stand a chance.
These days he has enough trouble trying to get into his own pants.
30 years of hard work.
What does it all add up to?
In the latest edition of Who's Who
He's still listed under ...who?
When a man turns 50, when a man turns 50,
He don't need rock and roll, and he don't need rap.
What he really needs, what he really needs,
all he really needs is a nap.
Yes, the baby boomers are celebrating their 50th birthday.
It's a very important time. It's a very significant time. It's a landmark. It's a milestone.
It's a time when your kids are moving out, and Mom's thinking of moving back in.
It's a time when you don't hear, did the earth move? But you might hear, did your bowels move?
It's a time when you find it's not so much fun hanging around young people because it makes you feel old.
So you start hanging around old people because that makes you feel young.
Yes, it's a time when you realize that 40 is the old age of youth, but 50 is the youth of old age.
It's a time when you walk past a mirror and say - Hi, Dad.
It's a time when you realize why they call it middle age
because everything seems to accumulate around your middle.
It's a time when you might finally have the body of a 20-year-old ... Chevy.
Yes, if you were an automobile, your warranty would have just about expired by now.
In fact, you'd be thinking of trading yourself in.
When a man turns 50, he can get the blues
Just from bending down to tie his shoes down.
He's a- thinking, oh dear, oh dear,
Is there anything else that I should do while I'm down here?
People must be mumbling, he can't hear a word,
His eyesight is perfect so his friends must be blurred.
He still plays hockey, and he still plays to win,
But contact hockey means - you keep your lenses in.
Middle age is what they call it.
He's no longer indestructible.
The bulge in his pants is his wallet,
And everything he does is deductible.
... I'll be alright now.
When a man turns 50, he still goes with the flow,
but it's hard to go with the flow when the flow won't go.
He still chases women, but he doesn't stand a chance.
These days he has enough trouble trying to get into his own pants.
30 years of hard work.
What does it all add up to?
In the latest edition of Who's Who
He's still listed under ...who?
When a man turns 50, when a man turns 50,
He don't need rock and roll, and he don't need rap.
What he really needs, what he really needs,
all he really needs is a nap.