I'm a predatory knuckle-dragging male chauvinist.
My dubious achievements make a very lengthy list.
They say that women have their faults, but men have only two.
Everything we say, and everything we do.

I'm a palpitating python sitting on a throne.
A blundering banana teeming with testosterone.
A clattering complexity of oracles and vesicles
All cleverly controlled by a tiny pair of testicles

I am a man.
That's what I am.
I am a man.
That's what I am.

There is no heavy labor from which I will ever shirk.
Except for giving birth, of course, that is women's work.
I'm domineering, bullying, and pompous and corrupt.
And if there is a woman speaking, then of course I'll interrupt.

There's nothing we like better than to tinker with jalopies.
We love computers because they take three and a half inch floppies.
Enjoying manly pleasures like the congratulations
That you get for a particularly loud flatulation.

I am a man.
That's what I am.
I am a man.
That's what I am.

I practice lifting weights until my arms are big and thick.
Even though my legs are thin and look like Pogo sticks,
I'm the one who's at the wheel when the tanks begin to roll.
I'm the only one allowed to use the remote control.

I'll learn to say 'chairperson' without feeling like an oddity.
I'll never treat a woman like a sexual commodity.
I'm going to change, I'm going to change, I promise - if I can,
But I may not be able to because ... I'm a man.

I am a man.
That's what I am.
I am a man.
That's what I am.

a sensitive New Age guy.