Baby, baby, there'll be no babies with me
Talking about my vasectomy
It ain't much to you, but baby you see
Uh oh, it's a vasectomy

From now on those pills are needless
Talking about my vasectomy
Because my grapes are seedless
Talking about my vasectomy

Now I know your feelings are kinda mixed
Talking about my vasectomy
But don't you ever, ever say "it's okay he's been fixed"
Talking about my vasectomy

You're gonna find it's unbelievable
Talking about my vasectomy
When we make love it will be inconceivable
Talking about my vasectomy

I can see the guys go white as sheets
And tightly squeeze their knees
They seem to think vasectomy is Greek for
"You won't be needing these."
You won't be needing
You won't be needing
You won't be needing
These

Baby, baby, there'll be no babies with me
Talking about my vasectomy
Now we can make love recreationally
Talking about my vasectomy

I won't try to impress you with a big shiny car
Talking about my vasectomy
But I hope to impress you with my little tiny scar
Talking about my vasectomy

Baby, any conception with me will be immaculate
Talking about my vasectomy
Because there's no spermata in my ejaculate
Talking about my vasectomy

Now don't be telling me the operation was a waste
Talking about my vasectomy
Just because I couldn't do a damn thing about the taste
Talking about my vasectomy