I wish I was Sean Penn, I'd be a famous goon.
I wish I was John Candy, I'd be a famous balloon
I wish I was Madonna, I'd be a famous chick
I wish I was Warren Beatty, then I'd be a famous dick

I wish I was Nelson Mandela, I'd get in concerts for free
I wish I was, I wish I was anyone but me.
I wish I was

I wish I was Michael Keaton, I'd be a famous bat
I wish I was the Pope, I'd have a famous hat
I wish I was Prince Charles, then I'd be a famous snob.
I wish I was Roseanne Barr, then I'd be a famous slob

I wish I was, I wish I was a famous celebrity
I wish I was, I wish I was anyone but me.
I wish I was
I wish I was
I wish I was