When I look at my pension I find it's kind of thin
It seems I'm always taking out less than I put in
I'm scrimping, I'm saving, I'm counting every dollar
It looks like a pension but it's smaller

I know I should have paid attention
I've got pension envy cause I've got a small pension

Maybe with friends I'm out on the town
Then there's the moment that the check comes around
I see the looks, the condescension
Because they know I've got a teeny weeny pension
Teeny weeny, teeny weeny, teeny weeny pension

Those emails in my inbox would have my attention
If they could promise to enlarge my pension
Viagra, Cialis, they're no good to me
I need something to rub on my RRSP

I need a pension extension
I've got pension envy cause I've got a small pension
My pension plan is in tatters
When it comes to a pension, size matters