He's the man behind the Tories' electoral machine
Pierre Poutine, Pierre Poutine
He makes naughty phone calls without being obscene
Pierre Poutine, Pierre Poutine
He could change the course of history
He's a modern Lafayette
He's the biggest thing in voting since the first suffragette
He screws things up in Guelph, but he lives in Joliette
Pierre Poutine, Pierre Poutine

They seek him here, they seek him there, he slips away unseen
Pierre Poutine, Pierre Poutine
He's partly Scarlett Pimpernel and partly Charlie Sheen
Pierre Poutine, Pierre Poutine
Stephen Harper says the Tories did not robo-call
Although he is a robot, it wasn't him at all
For the guy who's dishing out all this robo-cholesterol
is Pierre Poutine, Pierre Poutine

Who's behind this fiction? We can only guess
The place that he lives is not a real address
The last job he had was spoiling ballots for the 'Yes'
Pierre Poutine, Pierre Poutine

He's cheesy, he's greasy, he's slippery and he's mean
Pierre Poutine, Pierre Poutine
He's an item on the menu at the Parliament canteen
Pierre Poutine, Pierre Poutine
He's unprincipled and immoral, he's unsavory and bent
He crashes people's parties without getting their consent
He must be related to the Russian President
Pierre Poutine, Pierre Poutine