Good morning friends, we are two Mexicanos from Acapulco, from in fact the fire department
of Acapulco, yes.
I am Jose
And I am Jose B
And we are here to invite you to take a vacation in Mexico and sing a song for you.
Hey man, you know something, they're not singing along man.
They look confused, man, maybe they don't speak Spanish, man, maybe you should translate
the song for them, the words, you know.
Okay man, maybe I should explain what this song is all about.
This song is a song of welcome that is sung by the little Mexicano children when the tourists
come down from Canada and they take a holiday in the sun in Acapulco.
The buses come in from the airport and the tourists climb down from the buses into the
bright noon day sun in the city square and the little children gather round and they throw the
flowers and they sing a song of welcome and it goes like this.

Hey gringo turista,
Hey gringo turista, come on and meet my sister,
She is a virgin and so is my mother.
They got big bazongas
They got big bazongas,
you're going to like that gringo, big bazongas.

Do you like tortillas?
oh you're going to love tortillas,
Do you like refritos?
Do you know what that means?
That's refried beans, that means you'll get diarrhea,
oh you're not going to like that gringo, you'll get
Diarrhea, you'll get diarrhea.

Hello, my name is Pancho, I work at the rancho,
I make five pesos a day, I go to see Lucy
she give me her pussy, she take all my pesos a week.

Hey nice show man and then she calls me names man,
she calls you names?
Man, she call me a chicken.
oh a chicken. That's bad
It's worse than that, she call me an egg
An egg?
Yes I don't know why man. I've never been an egg and I don't want to be no egg
You know, you don't want to be an egg man, no man.
Why do I get the feeling there is a yolk coming?
I could give you five reasons right now why you don't want to be an egg.
Okay, five reasons,
That's right.
The reason number one - you only get laid once
Reason number two - you only get eaten once
Reason number three - it takes you seven minutes to get hard
Reason number - four when you do come you're in the same box with eleven others
And reason number five - the only one who sits on your face is your mother
But there are many other reasons to come down to Mexico
For example in Mexico they have cerveza, cerveza that is beer. And they have tequila,
oh tequila that is tequila, smart guy
My friend you know and they have loco tobacco
Oh marihuana
Is called marihuana, you know that man,
And they got the cocaína,
cocaína man that's bad shit man
Oh really it's bad shit, do you agree with him?
It's bad shit man, nature's way of telling you you're making too much money man.
No it's bad shit is because of the shit they put in that shit, they cut it with shit man, they cut it with baby laxative
Let me get this shit straight man, you got some shit but they put shit in that shit, and it makes you shit, you go to the bathroom to shit and it's full of guys doing cocaína, that's true man, and then it makes you shoot the shit
It's so bad man because I brought some with me man, you smuggle some
cocaína from Mexico, yeah you know I put it in a condom
Like a tall building with people in it?
No, no, I put it in a condom and I hid it in my body where the sun don't shine, even in Acapulco,
Those guys could have brought two kilos between them,
But it's true man, so what happened next man, well then I go to the airport and then I'm standing
I'm standing at the airport ready to get on the plane and these big guys with guns, they shout,
"Hey Joe, gringo, drop your baggage, take off your clothes and bend over,
I said, shit man, are you gonna drive me home or
You wouldn't be a rugby player would you by any chance?