In the middle of some show
A jock in the front row
Screams out: "Get off the stage!"
The comic looks him in the eye
And slowly reaches for his fly
saying: "Keep your mouth open sir
- I'll be over right away."

Life is too short to be shy
Life is too short to be shy
The kamikaze comic
Dives out of the sky
Laugh is too short to be shy

Invariably there'll be some jerk
With one brain cell that still works
Whose bovine shouts
Interrupt the narrative
The comic says with a grin:
"Sir why don't you fill me in
- how come they kill baby seals,
And let you live?"

Life is too short to be shy
Life is too short to be shy
Revenge can be oh so sweet
And it can satisfy
Life is too short to be shy

When it's time to take a break
There's always some smart ass yells out: "great!
Take your time - we can wait."
The comic's feelings can be expressed
When he says: "Sir, save your breath
You'll need it later to blow up your inflatable date."

Life is too short to be shy
Life is too short to be shy
A well-chosen phrase
Is like hitting a face with a pie
Life is too short to be shy

When finally there's some dummy
Who yells out: "you're not funny!"
Even though he knows he had 'em rolling in the aisles
He's forced to say to this goof:
"Sir you are living proof that anal sex
Can produce a child."

Life is too short to be shy
Life is too short to be shy
Revenge can be oh so sweet
And it can satisfy
Life is too short to be shy