No balls, no balls, no balls at all
In this world full of balls
Some folks got no balls at all

Some balls are red, some balls are green
Some balls are hidden, others are seen
Some balls are light, some balls are dark
His balls get felt by old men in the park

Some balls are new, some balls are old
His balls get wrinkled whenever it's cold
Some balls are wooden and some balls are brass
And some balls are fuzzy and hang from your

But no balls, no balls, no balls at all
In this world full of balls
Some folks got no balls at all

Balls to Mr. Finkelstein, Finkelstein, Finkelstein
Balls to Mr. Finkelstein, the dirty old man
He keeps us all waiting while he's
Balls to Mr. Finkelstein, the dirty old man

Snowballs are cold, but meatballs are hot
Some balls get played with, mine do not
Some balls are wet and some balls are dry
And some balls will always get caught in your fly

Charlie has one ball, but Brian has three
But Mila has his balls tied to a tree
You know, some balls will sink and others will float
But mine are so big they'll get stuck in your throat

No balls, no balls, no balls at all
Ain't it sad, ain't it sad to recall
In this world, in this world full of balls
Do I have to remind you all

Now wait a minute. I said 'wait a minute'
Do you feel alright now?
Do you feel alright now?
Yeah
Well I feel real good today
I feel real good
Wait a minute
When I was a little baby
Guess, about five years old
And I used to take a bath with my baby sister
And I used to walk over to her
(Which is hard to do in a bathtub)
I said: "Hey baby
How come I got one of these and you don't?"
And she said: "My mama told me
My mama told me - baby
My mama told me - When I get to be a big girl
With one of these I can have as many of those as I want."