We'd like to bring on an American now, one of the great American heroes of all time.
A man who's ...this guy is so tough - after his vasectomy. He jogged home.
This man can survive in the jungle armed only with a bowie knife, a piece of string,
And a penthouse magazine
First I'm referring to that symbol of machismo - Mr. John Rambo
let's hear it for him, ladies and gentlemen - John Rambo!

Who's the boss?
Who's the one with a great big gun?
Who's the boss?
Who's the one with a great big gun?

I would like
I would like to mumble in the mic
I'm not big on speeches, so I will just say
Yo
I have class, I have charm
I do push-ups with one arm
Like this
I live by a simple code:
Empty this and then reload

I would like to have a word with you, but I can't think of one

You know, if you want to grow up like Rambo, every morning you have to eat my breakfast cereal.
You have to eat Bran-bo
Yeah, you pour it in the bowl, it goes snap, crackle, boom.
Yeah, it's like a laxative - except with Brando you don't take shit from anyone.
I don't take shit from anyone. I was brought up that way by my mother
Yeah.
Because, I was an unwanted baby. Right from the start she let me know this.
I spent two years walking around with a coat hanger sticking out of my head
What? What?
My first word was ...
Thought it was a fast food joint
Come to McMorgantaler - 20 billion scraped
What?
My mother was tough, okay
She was tough
She used to hold me in her arms and say ... this is last year - she used to say:
"What the fuck are you looking at?"
She was tough.
She really does wear army boots, my mother.
Okay, so ... ugly, too
She is so ugly ... you asked me, how ugly?
When she goes in the kitchen, the mice jump up on chairs, you know.
Once when she was young, she ended a beauty contest. They fined her 50 bucks
Yo.
You wanna talk about ugly?
My old man's at the point where when they make love he just does it in his hand and throws it at her.
Well, that's nothing. Sure that'll toughen you. Long-distance love.
I want to do a new song. You want to sing together? All of you goes ...
You don't say yes, you don't say no
Santa Claus he say "Yo"
Who's the one with the big thing
I'm working with Liberace here, you know
This guy this guy, you know, I mean
You know, maybe you like it if we do your favorite Elton John song you like that?
"Swallow the yellow thick load" he likes

Weird he's weird, you know
Go out for a whopper with cheese. He thinks it's a big uncircumcised dick
What?
Hey, Tom Cruise looks good and he wears Adidas
But I have a bigger Chest then he does
Yo
Schwarzenegger can go to hell.
His name is too hard to spell
Yo