Well listen to my story, it's about B.P.
They had an oil rig but it sank into the sea
The well head broke and now they're being sued
Up from the bottom come a-bubbling crude

Oil that is. Brown goo
B.P. says they'll clean it up
Heck - they can't even clean up their gas station restrooms

Well the next thing you know they're telling the world:
"Don't worry folks, it's under control
Everything is going according to our plan
We're collecting all the oil in a new kind of can."

What kind of can is that?
A pelican

Nothing seemed to work and it never seemed to end
They cut that pipe and they cut their dividend
The CEO didn't know what else to do
So he poured himself a drink - and then he spilled that too

He said: "I've had enough of this, I want my life back."
They said: "Fine give him life plus 20."
You know, I think this is payback for the war of 1812, that's what I think

They fired that guy but the oil kept a-coming
Just as many barrels as there was a while ago
And they kept on trying but the oil kept a-running
From the bottom of the ocean in the Gulf of Mexico

Well now it's time to say goodbye to miles of pristine shore
And all those birds and fishes that don't swim there anymore
B.P. says they'll do their best to make those beaches clean
No matter how much they have to raise the price of gasoline

They said they'll change all the water in the Gulf if they have to
At 5 years or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first
Yee-haw! And all that sort of thing
Y'all come back now