I got rust spots on my Chevy
My VCR is broke
My wife is getting heavy
And my son is doing coke
It ain't easy being white
It ain't easy being white
You know I ain't even a lot out of night
It ain't easy being white

I keep on working real hard
Working hard downtown
I may not get a suntan
But my nose is getting brown
It ain't easy being white
It ain't easy being white
Well I know I'm doing something right
But it ain't easy being white

To the black folks, I'm a honky,
To the French, I'm a tete carrée
To my doctor, I'm a hemorrhoid
That just won't go away

Someone stole my wallet
I'm allergic to our cat
I think I'm an alcoholic
I know I'm getting fat
It ain't easy being white
It ain't easy being white
That's why I'm so uptight
Cause it ain't easy being white

My complexion's kinda sickly
Sex drives me up the wall
I either come too quickly
Or I can't come at all
It ain't easy being white
It ain't easy being white
And I know that ain't right
But it ain't easy being white

My girlfriend doesn't swallow
I don't believe she can
I found someone who does
But it's a man
it ain't easy being white
It ain't easy being white
Well it's kinda hard to tell late at night
It ain't easy being white